Expdonaloaded Single and Married; The Things Nigerian Women Do To Find Husbands
Three percent of Nigerian ladies are undisturbed by their lack of a
spouse but the other 97% would do just anything to become Mrs.
Somebody”. As we read on, we are going to see some unorthodox things
Nigerian women will do in their quest to bag a husband! Some are
bizarre, some are good and while some
downright bad but if you are willing to try anything and getting a
husband is the only activity left on your bucket list, you might want to
try a few! (Men beware).
1)Snatching a friend or relation’s man.
All is fair in love and war! Rumor has it that women have resorted to
locking their phones, hiding their men and coding their gist from
so-called friends because it’s a jungle out there.
2)Re-inventing themselves.
Pretence is the order of the day. No man wants to tame the shrew or
teach the inexperienced or make an honest woman out of a dishonest one
so once marriage is desired, women package themselves in pseudo,
ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable packages. After marriage, what
you see is what you get!
3)Trapping with pregnancy.
This used to be the old school method of getting a man to propose. From
skipping the pill to seducing the man or getting him drunk when she was
ovulating, a woman usually knew she had the man
where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there was no
commitment. Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to child
support. Are the girls deterred? NO! The girls have
stepped up their game by involving the parents and you know parents
don’t like scandals
4)Praying & Fasting.
This would presumably be an honorable means of obtaining a husband but
sometimes the prayers are offered up to deities other than God &
other times it becomes a song permanently.
Taking his photograph to Cele church for a prophetess to pray over or a
powerful Alfa. Heard it works like charm. Taking his sp*rm, hair or
personal effects to Babalawo. Guys, disposing of your condoms yourself
is not such a bad idea.
5)Outright Jazz
My friend recently gisted me about how a tied up, live pigeon had been
discovered in a friend’s sister-in-law’s box. The woman confessed to
using jazz and said she hadn’t been sure if the guy would actually
propose so she took the necessary precautions.
6)Putting love potion in his food
This is classic and timeless but shouldn’t it be called a compelling
potion? Because in this case, love na by force!
7)Proposing to a guy
Yes it does happen (Who wears the engagement ring?) Toasting a man’s
family so they make the decision for him! A friend complained that a
girl he detested had over the months gotten close to his
family. Lavishing on them, cooking for them and basically being their
go-to girl and now his mum had put her foot down that he had to break up
with his girlfriend and marry little-miss-went-home-to-
mama depending on how much power the family wields, their word may be
final. Asking daddy to get them a husband! If daddy’s a big shot,
arranging a husband for you is usually as easy as pie and some men would
sell their souls for a large chunk of daddy’s money so both parties are
happy.
9)Being the man’s maga
Some women believe that when you finally get a man to be interested in
you, spoiling him and overlooking his every fault would get you into a
white gown faster than an okada. Some men don’t mind a woman who houses
them, clothes them, feeds them, gives them pocket money, never gets
upset with them even when they misbehave and cleans up after them with
little or no contribution from them living the dream
10)Giving him unlimited freedom.
Tell me I am number one baby; tell me I am the future mother of your
kids and not Amina, Bisi or Ngozi. Women used to want to be the one AND
ONLY in their man’s life, now being the number one is
good enough.
11)Polishing up a low class, barely educated brother in exchange for a
ring
The deal is simple, you send your cleaner, gateman or driver to night
school, you give him language lessons, you take him to buy some new
clothes and deodorant and teach him to call you honey instead of madam
and in exchange, he gets to marry you, share an expensive bedroom and
never worry about his bills ever again!
12)Revamping you.
Change your wardrobe, lose 20kg, buy a truckload of Brazilian hair,
study the karma-sutra, do an angioplasty and change the age on your
birth-certificate to read 22. Botox, plastic surgery, a compulsory gym
membership and a body magic also indicated!
13)Becoming a worker in church
Rumour has it that men go to church to marry, the same rumour also
reveals that Greeters Ushers and Lead Soloists have the best exposure.
Praise the Lord!
14)Moving to a new town or part of town
This always peaks the men’s interest and at the same time you get to run
away from your past and the old maid labels!
15)Going for deliverance
Going for deliverance from a spirit husband and sowing a big marriage
seed in church! Giving your possessions to the poor, giving a
sacrificial offering or just giving one thing to God that would make you
weep.
16)Abandoning hopes, dreams and ambitions
I’ve heard people say that women looking for a prince charming live
unrealistic dreams, virgins are old-school, overly educated women are
proud, rich women are not submissive, ambitious women are conceited,
women with demanding jobs won’t have time for their families, women who
want a faithful man are deluded and women who don’t get pregnant before
wedlock have something wrong with their plumbing! So forsake the
masters, don’t even dream of a PhD, quit your job, give away all your
money and surely a husband will come.
17)Outright Desperation
And if all the above fails, they marry a married man!
He could be your friend’s husband, your sister’s husband, your cousin’s
husband, your colleague’s husband, even your mother’s husband if
possible. Can you blame these women? The average guy has commitment
phobia or is out to play till he is all spent before he settles down or
is waiting to make his first 5 million before saying I do. Even a man
with no future ambition or class, much less finances still knows he
could have his pick of the best women out there, once he announces he is
looking to settle!
”The last census showed a female-dominated demographic with more women
per eligible bachelor.
Family and society constantly put the woman in hot water making her
personal successes irrelevant till she bags a man”.
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