While you’re in a long-term relationship, a sizzling evening together with your partner might made up of moves pulled from a go-to list of yeses and, if you’re lucky, oh yeses. Why risk messing up the mood with potentially awkward antics? Because there’s such a thing as feeling too comfortable.
Shaking things up a bit can add excitement and spontaneity. Experts agree that you don’t need to try (or buy) anything extreme to achieve a big boost in novelty and pleasure.
Test one or more of these moves out tonight and see for yourself.
ENGAGE IN AFTERPLAY
Done with the main event? Now’s the perfect time to return to some foreplay favorites. Because you’re already aroused, you may find that certain moves can feel extra-intense. Not only that, but if you’ve always been curious but shy to try something new, like say a type of toy, after intercourse can be a great time to engage because when you’re already aroused, and may be less inhibited. Plus, there’s no pressure on the trick to actually work. You’re just having fun for fun’s sake.
OPEN THE WINDOWS—BUT CLOSE THE CURTAINS
The feel of the breeze on your bare skin and the ever-so-slight possibility that the neighbors might hear your moans can be incredibly arousing.
Or, if you’re feeling even more daring, instigate a make-out session in your backyard as it gets dark. Even though it’s remote, the fear you could get caught produces an adrenaline rush that adds a layer of excitement and urgency to the encounter.
SCRATCH HIS HEAD
The scalp contains tons of nerve endings—that’s why that mini-scalp massage at the salon always feels so good. Even though the touch is G-rated, the skin-on-skin contact can trigger a flow of bonding hormones like oxytocin that can make you both feel more connected.
And because the act isn’t automatically linked to sex, it can pave the way for a long evening of back-and-forth foreplay before the main event, which often gets lost in long-term relationships.
CORRUPT THE COUCH
Don’t make excuses about the upholstery, because your clothes are going to stay on. Start with making out high-school style and then amp up the action by moving so you’re facing him and sitting on his knee. Here, you can rock back and forth while you’re kissing, which provides direct stimulation to your clitoris and can be supremely pleasurable.
ADD US ON BBM: 563FD797
START A SLOW BURN
Like “road trip,” “sexting” sounds simultaneously dangerous and juvenile, but can actually be a lot of fun if you know how. The trick is to leave out words that would make you blush and stick to inside joke type info that would seem innocent to anyone else.
Something like “FYI, I’m wearing that red dress you like”with a smiley face can convey just as much as a picture of your underwear—and starts priming both of your brains for what will happen when you finally get together.
RAID THE FREEZER
Experts agree that plain old ice cubes can make any encounter extremely hot. Not only does the chill of the ice stimulate the same part of the nervous system that’s responsible for arousal, but the sensation jolts your brain away from the grocery list and into the here-and-now. Try running one along his hips and up his thighs, or ask him to do the same to you.
And don’t be discouraged if one or both of you start to laugh—encourage it! Sex should be fun, so give into the giggles and play around until you find what feels good.
NARRATE THE ACTION
Simply say what’s happening in the moment, with sentences like, “You’re running your hand up my thigh and it feels so good.” Even though the words seem innocent enough, they serve the same purpose as dirty talk—letting your partner know what’s turning you on, what you’d like more of and how his actions result in your pleasure.
Not only that, but explaining what sensations you’re experiencing can stop your mind from wandering and keep it focused on the action. “By connecting the action to how you feel, you’re increasing awareness of what feels good, so you can ask for more of it.
LUBE UP
To avoid interrupting the action, have lube on the bedside table or in a convenient drawer. Then, either sensuously put it on yourself or have him put it on you during foreplay.
RE-DO YOUR FINEST MOMENTS
Try fantasies that star each other. Start by giving the play-by-play of some of the exceptionally hot moments you’ve had over the years. You’ve had them before, so who says you can’t have them again?
TRY A NEW MOVE
Kama Sutra–inspired coupling may seem exciting, but if you’re looking for orgasmic, the deceptively simple Coital Alignment Technique (also known as CAT) may be all you need. In the past two decades, studies have found that this technique consistently leads to climax, even for women who have reported difficulty achieving orgasm from penetration in the past.
To do it: Start in missionary, but have your guy move downward during the thrust as you move upward. The point is to achieve maximum clitoral stimulation, so you might have to experiment a bit until the position of his penis gives you the most pleasure.
TAKE A BREAK
Vacations may only come once or twice a year, but you can have hot vacation-style sex any day. “When you’re on vacation, your focus is primarily on pleasure. To have a similar benefit, you need to get into a similar mindset at home.
One way to do that is to get rid of as many distractions as possible. For some couple, that’s renting a hotel room in town for an evening. For others, it’s simply spending the night (or a Saturday morning while kids are at soccer practice) in the guest room. Not seeing evidence of your everyday lives can make it easier to totally let loose.
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